The Joys of Boys

Being a first-time mother of a son – it’s a BOY!

Children are a gift from the Lord
the unwrapping is what takes place in our own hearts.

First let me say that I absolutely LOVE being a mom!  As a little girl this is what I dreamed to be.

God gave me the desires of my heart when he entrusted eight beautiful children to my care! 

This specific article is dedicated to the JOY of raising BOYS!

There is nothing like raising a son.   I am blessed with four boy-gifts from God!  Each one of them reaches into the deepest parts of my heart and blesses me.  God uses each one in my life for good on a daily basis.

While attending Baylor University, it was mandatory that I take a Child-Development class for my major in Fashion Merchandising.  I will never know what Child-Development has to do with Fashion Merchandising, but none-the-less they attempted to teach us the necessities of how children develop.  Weekly I was required to sit behind a one-way glass observing preschool school boys and girls.  Only God knew that this would be a skill necessary for many years to come . . . the observation of children, girls, boys, and sons!

Mother Goose poetry declares what little boys made of . . .

Frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails,
and that are little boys made of.

Sighs and leers, and crocodile tears,
and that are young men made of.

There are some books out there on mothers and sons, and there are also a few good books on raising boys in general; however, experience is the best teacher for raising a boy, and I’m not sure we will ever learn the nature of this beast J ! God only created two kinds of people ~ male and female. 

Of course they both come with different personalities, but the two genders also come with qualities that make them different from one another.

Some things that come to my mind from my experience in mothering a boy:

I remember looking at my 3^rd born for the first time and calling him “son”!  There is nothing like having a boy of your own to raise.  After two girls, many would announce – aren’t boys so different?  It took a while for me to begin to realize the differences as well as some surprising similarities.

The Differences:

1.  Boys are warriors
2.  Providers
3.  Protectors
4.  Energetic
5.  Non-verbal (most of the time)
6.  Dirtier but not always messier

The Surprising Similarities:

1.      Boys have emotions

2.      Boys have hormones

3.      Boys care about their appearance . . . smells, hair, and muscles really are very, very important!

4.      Boys need love and touch

5.      Boys need constant affirmation

Are boys cheaper than girls?  The checklist:

• Weddings - girl's side pays at least four times the boy's side
• Clothes - in most cases, girls will have more and items cost more
• Hygiene - girls use more products plus makeup
• Sports - about equal here, maybe more for boys with multiple sports
• Parties - boys tend to go to parties, girls tend to have more
• Food - boys eat more
• Cars - insurance is definitely cheaper for girls

• Decorating - I'm thinking girls will spend more decorating their room
• College - probably about the same

Weddings, clothes, hygiene will likely tilt the scale                              in favor of girls costing more than boys!

You will be faced with trials –

¨      Guns or no guns

¨      Stand up potty or sit down

¨      Actions and reactions different from that of a lady

¨      Physical energy

¨      Emotional energy

¨      Personality differences

If your first is a boy or when you have a son  there will be another set trials and triumphs as you raise those first borns.

Throughout the Bible we see the importance of being the firstborn son:

1.      In Israel the firstborn son was given twice as much of the inheritance as the rest of the sons. This isn’t true of firstborn daughters, because it was assumed that they would marry and become sharers in the inheritance of their husbands

2.      The first of everything belongs to God including the first-born child.  Exodus 13:1, 2 states, “Then Jehovah told Moses, all the first-fathered and firstborn that open any womb among the children of Israel, whether man or animal, are to be set aside as holy to Me, for they are Mine.”

3.      And all of this has importance prophetic significance.  Jesus Was the Firstborn

"If a person believes that Jesus was the same person as God (the Father); if they believe that Jesus was just a man; or if they believe that he first came into existence when he was born on earth; that person is missing out on the true meaning and significance of being the firstborn. For, it’s a fact that all the laws and promises of the firstborn of man, animals, and crops showed how God was going to send this one, His most-loved firstborn (first generated) son, to save us. The Bible is so clear on this, for notice what we are told in the following scriptures:"   http://www.2001translation.com/Firstborn.htm

• John 1:1-3, "In the beginning there was the Word. The Word was with The God and the Word was Powerful. The Word was with The God long ago. Everything came into existence through him. Life came into existence through him and the life was the light of mankind."

* * * * *

It can’t be helped that the first-born child is usually the child with the most attention. Birth order plays an important part for the way this particular child turns out the way he/she does.

First born children are either compliant or aggressive.  The compliant first-borns are often people pleasers, crave approval, the are nurturers, reliable, conscientious, cooperative, and team players.

The aggressive first-borns are movers and shakers, natural leaders, driven, perfectionists, assertive, always have things under control and want things their way.

More than 1/2 of the U.S. Presidents were first born children

21 of the 23 first astronauts were first born children

2/3 of entrepreneurs are first born children

SATAN WANTS YOUR FIRST BORN!                                                                    

à If Satan messes up the 1^st born – he is likely to have success w the other children  Dr. S.M. Davis

Bible 1^st born rebels:  Dr. S.M. Davis
1.      Adam
2.      Cain murdered Abel
3.      Lot’s first born daughter led the way into sin for herself and her sister
4.      Esau (Isaac’s first born son) despised his birthright and became a fornicator
5.      Er, Judah’s 1^st born was wicked in the sight of the Lord and the Lord slew him Gen. 38
6.      Reuben (Jacob’s 1^st born) was morally perverse and lost his blessing (Rev. he is not listed 1^st)
7.      Miriam and Aaron rebelled against Moses leadership
8.      Nadab (1^st born of Aaron) led his brother to offer strange fire Lev. 10
9.      Korah – Num 16 led a rebellion against Moses and the earth opened up and swallowed him.
10.  Samson – great potential to deliver the people of God
11.  Hophni – immoral son of Eli
12.  Saul – offered a sacrifice in rebellion against the Lord and lost his position as king
13.  Amnon – raped his half sister Tamar – David’s 1^st born
14.  Uzziah – king who rebelled against the Lord’s priest

If you are called to raise a man!  à know that he is called to be

a prophet, priest, protector, and provider of his own home

* * * * *

 Sex, personality, birth order, life circumstances, friends, but most of all God’s purpose and calling will ALL impact your boy and your experience in raising a son!

 God will give wisdom like manna from heaven . . . daily, and you will experience the Joy of a Boy!

Encouragement for the first time mom of a son: 

1. Do not neglect your own spiritual life.  Pray and read God’s Word. 
2. Teaching your son is your calling and responsibility:  Proverbs 1:8-9 “ Hear my son, your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching; indeed they are a graceful wreath to your head, and ornaments about your neck.”  What ornaments are you placing around his neck?
3. Discipline should be positive and not negative:  Proverbs 29:15/17  “A child left to himself puts a mother to shame.”
4. Receive and accept birth order for each of your children as a gift from the Lord.  God perfectly placed your children in your family.  He knows who can handle the position of the first-born.
5. Spend time learning about your child – his strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes.  Study this gender –they are amazing creations with big purposes for God’s glory.
6. Tie heart strings!  Rules without relationship = Rebellion.  As the mom you will establish routines, mood in the home, impressions of women, ideas about God, marriage, and have impact on their friends. 
7. Every child needs two moms and a community J  Be intentional about placing mentors in the life of your child / son (men and women).
8. Your first born must eventually dedicate himself to the Lord.  You cannot hurry up physical, emotional, or spiritual maturity but you can encourage it.  J
9. The first-born must dedicate their life to serving others.  This will bring about humility and maturity helping them to the pitfall of pride and bitterness.  Too much privilege of the first-born will result in pride.  Too much focus on the responsibility of this birth placement will result in bitterness.
10. Raise to Release