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Oh my, even though somewhat prepared in many areas (you know – cute nursery, a wonderful wardrobe of baby clothes, and more toys than the baby cared to own), I was unprepared for the days and weeks that followed. I had never experienced sleepless nights or days without washing my hair or even taking a bath. Before I knew it, I was stating the facts to my traveling husband that we were going on three weeks and I had not taken care of these things. This shared information really wasn’t in the form of a complaint – just truth that my life had drastically changed in ways I never could have imagined. I truly believed that babies were not supposed to cry and it was my job to keep them from verbalizing their needs in this way. Crying meant unhappy and wasn’t it my job to maintain happy at all costs?
It was at that point I made two important discoveries:
1. Babies will and can cry – it’s just what they do and how they communicate. It’s not always a bad thing.
2. I will not, cannot, and should not be the one to always meet the needs of my child even though God will use me OFTEN for that purpose.
It was at this time that I was introduced to the idea of scheduling!
My girlfriend called to check on life with the new baby. I shared with her the disorganized season that had made its way into my structured life. She was shocked when I described the chaos developing in our home as she was not experiencing the same atmosphere thanks to a book she had found, My First 300 Babies by Gladys West Hendrick. Because of the valuable insights in this book written by a nanny of 300 babies, she began to describe how her infant, in just three weeks of time, slept through the night, nursed on schedule rather than demand, and she was getting more accomplished than she ever dreamed as a new first-time mom!
Within minutes, my baby was loaded up in the car and we were making our way to my friend’s house to snatch up the book! It was too good to be true and I wanted some of what she had! Without any time of transition, we went cold-turkey into the life of routine and schedules with the applause of my husband.
Two weeks later at my baby’s well-visit at the doctor, I was proudly sharing the new life we were experiencing at the Apon home . . . my baby sleeps through the night, nurses on schedule rather than demand, and I was getting more accomplished than I ever dreamed or experienced in the first few weeks of mommy-hood! Rather than rejoicing with me, the nurse utterly GASPED! She pointed to the big watch on her arm and scolded me announcing that “Babies do not know a thing about time!” She acted as if I had abused my child.
This took me to one of my first cross roads in parenting – what counsel do I follow? Am I damaging my child by encouraging a life of structure, or am I damaging myself by allowing them to rule the roost? It didn’t take long for me to more forward confidently in the area that was bringing an atmosphere of peace to our home . . . and that was a life of routine.
I went on to schedule all eight of my babies and toddlers. Looking back on that season, I wondered if I would do it that way again. Was our home too militaristic? Did my children feel bound by time? The response to those questions came recently when I found myself in the position of caring for babies and toddlers once again – this time not my own. After a few days of haphazard living, the answer was there . . . YES, I would most certainly schedule my babies and toddlers if I had to do it all over again. The little bit of experience has proven to me that little ones actually love structure and routine. They seem to feel secure knowing what comes next in their day even if they are too young to know the actual time on the clock.
The hardest part about working with a schedule is that YOU have to work within the schedule. Of course, there will be times of flexibility, but for the most part, binding yourself to a schedule will bring more freedom than taking on each day just as it comes.
Below are the schedules I use for a baby (9 months) and for a toddler (2 years):
The newborn schedule is a bit different and I will share that later.
Baby Schedule (9-18 months)
7:00 a.m. Breakfast – solid food (see baby food recipe)
7:30 a.m. Play with family
8:00-10 a.m. Morning nap (do not allow a baby to sleep longer than this except for rare situations i.e. sickness). The time when a baby will need two naps in a day will vary, however, the morning nap is an important time for you to prepare dinner and spend time with the older siblings.
10:00-10:30 Play time with mommy / family
10:30-11:30 Play time with toys (alone).
You will have to build up to this amount of time, but one hour is not too much to ask. I use a gate for the boundary. Rotating toys daily or weekly is helpful and do not overload them with too many things to play with. A bucket or two of a variety of things should keep them occupied for one hour. Make sure that you are in a place where you can check on the baby without them seeing your observations. If necessary, in the beginning, you can stop in to help with a new direction of play. For example – if you have a bucket of duplos and a set of farm animals, the child may need help diverting their attention from duplos to playing with the barnyard.
Music is very important during this time. There are all kinds of music for children available especially with themes about Jesus.
11:30-noon Video – I do not like for videos to babysit my children and we do not even have television in our home. However, when used properly, there are lots of opportunities to use a video show
Noon Clean up toys – it is important to teach young children how to clean up after themselves. Be sure to work beside them in this process while training so they know what is expected.
12:30 Lunch (I will post a great baby food recipe later - Denmark Mush)
1:00 Bottle (if necessary)
1:00-3:00 Afternoon nap (do not allow baby to sleep past 4:00)
3:00 – 5:00 Play time WITH Mommy. I like for this to be something they look forward to. We spend this time outside, at the park, strolling, etc.
5:00 Clean up – this is the time to freshen up yourself and your home before the evening family time.
5:30 Baths - I always preferred baths before supper rather than afterwards. This allowed for daddy to come home to a clean house and clean children. I couldn’t think of tackling dirty kids and dirty dishes at the same time.
6:00 Dinner – of course the dinner hour may need to be flexible with the time Daddy arrives home from work.
7:00 Family time. Baby enjoys time with daddy and family.
7:30 Devotions – We kept this very simple. . . a Bible story that you could pick up and read in a few minutes.
7:30 – 8 p.m. Bed time – I know that schedules are full and crazy in this day and age, however, I am still a firm believer in a full night of sleep for the baby. This also allows for quality time in the evening for mom and dad. It does get challenging as your family grows and the older ones have activites that keep the family out and not able to have the baby home for an early tuck-in. Do the best you can remembering that sleep is your friend!
Toddler Schedule (Ages 18 mos. – 4 years)
This schedule is not much different from the baby except that there is no morning nap.
I have made notes pertaining to scheduling a toddler
6:00-6:30 a.m. Wake up (all of my children rose early in the morning because they went to bed early. They were not allowed to get out of their bed until they heard mommy’s blow-dryer! This gave me time to have my own time with the Lord and then dress for the day.)
7:00 a.m. Breakfast
7:30 a.m. Play with family
8-10:30 a.m. Play time with mommy / family. Usually the toddler is content to enjoy this “free-time” while you clean up from breakfast, start preparations for dinner, or work on the laundry. If you are schooling other children at home, this is a great time to start with some subjects that your toddler can be part of OR sit beside you and work on their own “school” ~ play dough, coloring, stickers, etc. It is good to have a small bucket of toys available that they can play with if they choose to. You will be surprised that they will engage in play because they think it is their own idea. Prepare them for the next step in their day by telling them that soon they will get to play in the playroom (or designated boundaries) with TOYS!
It is important not to “surprise” the toddler as you move through the scheduled day. They do much better if they have warnings of what is coming next.
10:30-11:30 Play time with toys (alone or with sibling).
Playtime without mommy IS NOT A BAD THING! Most likely, you will have to grow into an hour of alone time. Start with 15 minutes and increase it over a week’s time. Your toddler will soon look forward to play time and may be able to play alone for longer than one hour. If they cry during this time, this is their choice. As long as you know that they are safe and you have spent intentional time with them before this and will spend more time later in the afternoon, then a little bit of independent time is okay. They may test you in this every single day. Stand firm! Again, play time alone in a room with toys and music is not a bad thing. It is an important time for you and for the toddler.
We never had an actual play room. The gate was my friend and I could use this as a boundary for the area chosen for play. It is best for the toddler to play in the same place every day.
IF you need to run an errand or two – this would be the best time in your day to do this. The toddler will never mind missing alone time. HOWEVER – do not make it a practice to run errands every day. You will be less frazzled and your child will enjoy just being home in these early days. Perhaps you could plan for an errand morning once a week.
You will have to build up to this amount of time, but one hour is not too much to ask. I use a gate for the boundary. Rotating toys daily or weekly is helpful and do not overload them with too many things to play with. A bucket or two of a variety of things should keep them occupied for one hour. Make sure that you are in a place where you can check on the baby without them seeing your observations. If necessary, in the beginning, you can stop in to help with a new direction of play. For example– if you have a bucket of duplos and a set of farm animals, the child may need help diverting their attention from duplos to playing with the barnyard.
Music is very important during this time. There are all kinds of music for children available especially with themes about Jesus.
11:30-noon Video – I do not like for videos to babysit my children and we do not even have television in our home. However, when used properly, there are lots of opportunities to use a video show for education, entertainment, and a little break. My children usually watched a thirty minute show before lunch and one before dinner.
Noon Clean up toys – it is important to teach young children how to clean up after themselves. Be sure to work beside them in this process while training so they know what is expected. I always got them started with clean up and then left them to finish the job. OR you could let them start the job and then you come in at the end to help them finish it up. It is good to have a bucket or container for the different types of toys and teach them how to sort rather than just throwing it all randomly into a toy box. Of course – the amount of sorting comes with age and don’t be perfectionistic over this task or you will frustrate everyone.
12:30 Lunch – keep this simple or serve leftovers from dinner.
1:00-3:00 Afternoon nap (the length of the nap will shorten as the toddler advances in age.)
EVERY toddler needs a rest time even if they do not sleep because
EVERY mommy needs a time of rest.
If you have only babies and toddlers, do not try to be a hero and skip a short time of rest for yourself. 30-45 minutes will do amazing times for your own attitude and provide strength to continue through the rest of the day. If you don’t nap yourself, you will need time to get some things done that you cannot do with little people under foot.
If you have older elementary children you are schooling at home, this is your moment! I would use this time to focus on some of the subjects that cannot be learned independently. You will have to decide if your other children can focus on the harder subjects such as Math and Science after lunch OR if these need to be taught while the toddler is having independent play time. Plan for a good hour of school time and then independent reading. This gives you a good mix of teaching and rest time.
3:00 – 5:00 Play time WITH Mommy. I like for this to be something they look forward to. We spend this time outside, at the park, strolling, etc. If you have errands to run, this is another good time for these.
5:00 Clean up – this is the time to tidy your home before the evening family time. No Daddy wants to come home to a chaotic atmosphere. Even if it is not completely clean, attempt to have toys out of sight so that he won’t stumble over them as he enters the home.
5:30 Baths - I always preferred baths before supper rather than afterwards. This allowed for daddy to come home to a clean house and clean children. I couldn’t think of tackling dirty kids and dirty dishes at the same time. Be sure to take time to freshen up yourself as well. YOU will feel much better and it will be a blessing to welcome your husband in this way. Remember, he has had a long day as too.
6:00 Dinner – of course the dinner hour may need to be flexible with the time Daddy arrives home from work. ENJOY THIS TIME! DON'T SKIP THIS TIME! Time around the table is valuable, important, and becoming a rare blessing! Engage in conversation about Daddy’s day before sharing all about yours. Do not talk about discipline issues or stressful things.
7:00 Family time. Baby enjoys time with daddy and family.
7:30 Devotions – We kept this very simple. . . a Bible story that you could pick up and read in a few minutes.
8-8:30 p.m. Bed time – I know that schedules are full and crazy in this day and age, however, I am still a firm believer in a full night of sleep even for the toddler. This also allows for quality time in the evening for mom and dad. It does get challenging as your family grows and the older ones have activites that keep the family out and not able to have the baby home for an early tuck-in. Do the best you can remembering that sleep is your friend!
The evening is a great time to knock out one subject with Dad – perhaps Math or Science (smile)!
Hit "repeat" on this Monday through Friday. Weekends were totally different which is also a good thing.
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