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Why and how so many babies?
Thanking God that
His Ways are Higher than Ours
Note: May this longer-than-normal blog post encourage you if you are in your child-bearing years. The journey was posted as one entry so that I can move on to celebrating the joy of Kayla's first pregnancy!
I’m sure that the above inquiry has been the most popular behind the scenes question asked concerning our story—the story that God sent eight precious people to make up The Apon family . . . eight in ten years time, and then in His sovereignty allowed Daddy to leave the nest!
I’m sure I would have wondered the same thing if looking on from the outside in, why so many babies? When Bobby announced to others that we were expecting Baby #____, he would follow it by, “All I have to do is pass by her and we get pregnant!” He would then teasingly say he couldn’t figure out HOW those babies were being made, but he was having a lot of fun trying to find out!
The very most intimate part of the relationship between a man and a wife seems to be vulnerable to exposure when you choose to have a large family. We were always amazed at the very personal questions asked of us when it came to the quantity of children we chose to have! We gave up the right to make the decision as to what the best family size would be for us, and chose to trust God in the area of family planning.
November, 1987
Dear Sweetness,
Today finds me filled to overflowing with joy. My heart’s capacity for fullness has been expanded over our newest “surprise." This birthday has proved to definitely be the best ever. (Letter written after his 29th birthday).
I have often wondered what it would be like to be a father. I filled the role of husband on April 5, 1986 by accepting the privilege of being married to the most beautiful, wonderful, warm, caring, loving, godly, talented, motivated, submissive, generous, supportive woman ever produced by Divine Hands. (WOW – what an encouraging card to find after death!) And now to think that this woman will, for the next nine months, nurture inside her own womb of love, a “flesh-gift” of the highest honor. A gift I do not deserve, but will gladly accept! For this, there are not words capable of expressing the emotions flooding my body. You, Lori, have chosen not only to love me and support me, but have chosen to have that love duplicated in flesh, crafted in love in the form of our baby. Thank you for giving me the privilege of being your husband and now the father of our child. I love you, Bobby
We chose to trust God and have as many children as He would give us, and my “womb was opened” eight times by God Almighty. My children are purposed—God Purposed!
Sharing the timing of each child’s beginning
and a glimpse of what God showed us
their purpose would be:
ABIGAIL ~ Her Father’s Joy
Before Abigail was a thought in our hearts, God gave us her name. I heard Ike Reighardt share his story about his daughter, Abigail, soon after she was born. I remember Ike coming to preach in Fort Myers within weeks after his first wife’s death. What a heart-breaking story, yet wrapped in grace to see the treasures God brought out of that darkness. I loved the story about his daughter’s name even before I met my husband Bobby. Soon after we were married, together we heard Ike share his story again. We knew in our spirits that one day “Abigail” would be the name of our daughter.
As mentioned earlier, we did not plan the time to start our family. We were just surprised with this beautiful gift. And, children are a gift…. it just takes years to open the package! Parenting is one of those gifts that change you as much as you may think you can change the child. The package may be the child; however, the unwrapping that takes place are the layers and layers of self that you have to give up and die to after becoming a parent. Abigail was our first gift given to us two years after we were married. Her talents in the area of art and writing are amazing to me. I know God has a mighty plan for this young lady who has depended on her Father God to use all things for her good and His glory!
KAYLA ~ Pure Joy
It was sad to us that it took us two years to realize what joys we were missing out on through parenting. After thoroughly enjoying being parents and believing that it was a high calling and great blessing, we made the decision to completely trust God in this area. We weren’t going to take on this responsibility any more. Even with making that decision, we still tried to plan everything. (You know….give something to God and then take it back!) Although we tried to make the plan, we were very surprised when the symptoms and pregnancy test showed positive. Desiring a true confirmation of our suspicions, I had a blood test done. We were elated, humbled and honored; once again at the gift we had received when the test was 100% positive. Kayla was given to us 21 months after Abigail and she has been our pure joy. Kayla has a maturity of faith. God will give her great spiritual strength in this area because of what God has chosen to do in her life . . . for her good and His glory!
BRANDON ~ Strong Tower
I can remember wanting to have another child when Kayla was only three months old. This seemed so early to have such desires, but both of our daughters had been such blessings that we were ready to be blessed again! Bobby was now ready for a son. The night Brandon was conceived was a planned event—he was not an accident, although I don’t believe those exist, he was not a surprise. We prayed and asked God to give us a son, and the next morning I knew a baby had been conceived. A child was within me! Kayla was six months old at the time and Abigail was a little over two. I remember thinking that three under the age of three would be a bit overwhelming, but that didn’t douse our excitement! When we found out that our third blessing was going to be a son, our first boy, the exhilaration soared!
Brandon was the name we had chosen when selecting a boy and girl name for our first child. We knew that our son, when he came, was destined to be a strong tower! Brandon is a man of God that will not waver against the storms. We believe that he will be used to rightly divide the word of God for his good and God’s glory!
CHRISTIE ~ Anointed by the Grace of God
Journal Entry 1992
“As I write this ~ it has been confirmed with the hearing of your little heartbeat that we are blessed with a 4th child. Bobby and I wanted more children, but with no maternity insurance and the high cost to have a baby, we were hoping to wait awhile before any more children (our plan).The night Christie was conceived, I knew conception might be possible; however, due to the day of the month I felt sure it could not be physically achievable…you know, according to all those charts and graphs! Christie was conceived on the eighth day of my cycle. Later, we joked that whatever day of the month we came together, that would be the time of ovulation—thus the time of conception! When I told the doctor my cycle calendar he said, “Well, there’s always immaculate conception!”
By the time we conceived Christie, we felt that we were setting a record with four children in four years. People were beginning to really talk! “You’ve got your 2.1 children. You even have one of each sex, why and what are you trying to prove?” We took the verbal attacks knowing in our hearts that we were not trusting in our plans, but HIS. God’s ways are not our own, and His ways are higher than ours!
The talk and controversy over our decision to trust God and have as many children as He wanted to give us did not make us waver in our convictions. In fact, we were experiencing something very unusual ~ the more we had, the more we wanted to have! Children ARE a blessing and WOW, why stop the blessings!
God has a mighty plan for Christie. Her spirit seems to just flow through all different kinds of situations with great joy, peace and confidence. She will be a great leader because she is a great servant! Christie is “anointed by the grace of God” as her name declares. I know that God has a mighty plan for Christie for her good and HIS glory!
ISAAC ~ God has promised LAUGHTER!
At this point in our child-bearing years, I began to feel the need to explain what we were doing! Yes, we do know where that section of the grocery store is, and we even know how to bring about control without the store but…
Concern has been expressed over the issue of our family size. Let’s talk about that. As far back as I can remember I have always desired a large family. I have always loved children and thought it would be neat to have a large family. My desire for that developed into convictions concerning family size and the large family began to become a reality. (Isn’t it nice when our desires match our convictions?)
I really cannot see myself telling God “NO” to blessing us with more children. They are all precious and such a blessing to us – worth more than anything else to me. I will be the first to admit that large families may cost more money than small families financially as well as time and energy, but the yield in fruit is not comprehendible. Our growing family is overwhelming to other people because of the work-load attached to it. I am well aware of the amount of work that goes along with a large family as I do this job on a daily basis. However, I do not consider this a job. I feel it is an honor to be able to raise children that will love God and will be used in a mighty way for Him. Every time I conceive another baby, I feel honored and blessed more than overwhelmed. We do not push our convictions about family size on any one else because God does not always convict everyone in the same way. For many, one child IS a large family which is fine with us. God may consider five children a large family. I do know that I want God to be the one in control of this matter. We are willing to trust that He knows what we can handle and what is best for us.”
Isaac’s name is not one we pulled out of a hat. We did not name him this sarcastically either; however, if people knew the real story at that time, they would have thought so.
The name Isaac was given to us before we dreamed of having children. God told me that I would have an Abigail and Isaac, and there would be joy and laughter in our home! That sounded like a good enough reason for me to choose those names. Abigail heads up the first half of the bunch under the banner of joy. Isaac heads up the second half with great laughter and cheerful faith!
Before I conceived Isaac, I prayed for God to bless me with another child just to let me know that He was still hearing my prayers. Funny the things we pray and the way we think. Children spelled love to me. Often when I would conceive a child, God would bring to mind the story in Genesis 29 of Rachel and Leah and why Leah was blessed with children, “When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, He opened her womb.”
Isaac was conceived soon during a season where I did not feel loved. It would seem that conception would have been impossible at that point; however, God chose to bless us! When I conceived Isaac, I knew that God had answered my prayers and that this baby represented God’s promise. God was going to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we could think or ask.
When Bobby and I looked up the meaning of the name Isaac, we found that not only did it mean “laughter” but it also meant “God has promised.” Isaac represented the beginning of changes and promises that God would bring about. God reminded us of his name and told us that through Isaac, laughter would be brought into our home. Isaac’s calm and gentle spirit brings in the laughter against the enemy. Isaac represents a season of cheerful faith for our family. We chose Isaac’s name despite great opposition. We felt like the parents of John the Baptist must have felt—everyone had a name for our baby. Everyone had a thought and an idea, but we knew that his name was to be Isaac—a man that God will use to reach many. God will use everything that has been sifted into his life for his good and God’s glory!
EVAN ~ Mighty Warrior
Powerful with the Sword
You would think that five, yes in six years, would be enough. Surely, by now I must know that God loves me! But as we continued to walk by faith (not stupidity) and trust God, he blessed us with a “Mighty Warrior.” We wanted another child and were thrilled that God blessed us with another boy. The score was now even—three boys and three girls!
During the last months of my pregnancy with Evan, struggles from all sides seemed to be upon us. God gave us Evan’s name while expecting Kayla our second born. How He did this was unexplainable. I just heard Him whisper a name to me and its meaning, and I filed it away until the baby for that name was given to us. We knew that Evan would be Evan as soon as we found out we were to have another baby.
A few weeks before Evan was born, here we go with another “interesting” story, a man of God came to preach at our church. I don’t remember the message, I do remember being torn up inside from the different spiritual battles waging inside and out. The preacher ended his sermon and then said, “I cannot go home without describing what I have been watching the entire service.” He went on to describe an unbelievable angel, “It was bigger than any “body” he had ever seen, it was glorious, shining, powerful and had a mighty sword in his hand”. The angel was covering and protecting the person it was standing behind. The man went on and on and on about this angel…you could picture him/it in your mind. Then he pointed over to me and said, “And that angel is standing behind YOU (pointing at me), and his name is “Mighty Warrior!” (Do you have chills?)
This man did not know that we were going to name our baby Evan, and he did not know that Evan meant “Mighty Warrior!” He said the angel was there to say “enough is enough” and the war was over in our battles and struggles.
Hindsight will give me greater wisdom in knowing what to think about all of that; however, there was great warfare going on at that time and I do believe that God will use Evan to say “enough is enough!” I believe that Evan will be a strong prophet of God and will take everything that he has experienced in his life and use it for his good and God’s glory!
AMY ~ Beloved
Another baby is conceived and the talk is louder now. They just messed up the teams by adding in another child. Jokes were made about seeking to have a baseball team. No, we are just on to something—or at least God was, and we were thrilled to be in on it.
Journal Entry – January 1996
You were conceived on January 3, 1996. To be honest, we had no idea that it would be possible for me to be pregnant again. When I started to suspect that I might be with child, I really could not believe it. I started thinking on Friday that maybe God had blessed us again, and by Sunday, I was pretty sure that was true. After church we stopped at the store for a pregnancy test. (We would have done well to buy stock in those items!) We did the test as soon as we got home and sure enough…I was pregnant!
We were really overwhelmed as much as shocked to find out that we were going to have another child. Not that we did not want another baby, but we were still trying to adjust to six children. At any rate, God had seen fit to give us a baby, and now I didn’t want Him to take you away. I began to pray for you and was careful with what I did and what I ate.”
Amy was born nine months to the day of the death of Bobby’s dad! When there is a death, there is usually another life given. It is unbelievable that we would conceive during the time of grief over Bobby’s loss, but God saw fit to show us His love. Amy means beloved and we believe that she will be able to give and receive love in a great way. Amy has the ability to spread sunshine to everyone she meets and does so for her good and His glory!
MICAH ~ Messenger of God
After Amy, I must confess, I was really beginning to struggle with the mean comments and none-of-your-business friends! We could not believe the advice of well-meaning people. I continued to remain astounded at how rude the comments were—violating the privacy of our physical love and intimacy. Again, I continued to not understand why people thought they had a right to question large families – our large family. We wouldn’t dare ask… “And what do you use to stop being blessed with children?”
I had a great desire to have children as crazy as that may sound. But everyone else seemed to think that enough was enough! One day while ironing I cried out to the Lord over this controversy, “God, am I really missing it here?" I heard the Lord gently, but very clearly, say to me, “It’s okay with ME if you have more children!” WOW . . . what a life-changing day at the ironing board! Here I was worried about what others would think when God was the only one that mattered.
Soon after that Micah was conceived. Once again, we were given this baby’s name a few babies earlier; however, God saved this name for Micah—GOD’S MESSENGER, and boy does he have a message to tell. We believe that God will use Micah just as he did John the Baptist to bring the message of repentance in the last days. He will be able to deliver the message that God is a good God all the time! Micah will know the “Abba’Father” relationship with God in a very deep way, and God will use that for his good and God’s glory!
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After Micah was born, for the first time in all my child bearing years, I kept hearing the Lord say, “You are not going to have any more children!” I often told that to my husband in fear that he would say, “Okay, let’s stop.” In many ways I was ready to stop, yet in many ways I desired more and more children—blessings! Nevertheless, I continued to hear God say, “Watch how Micah crawls – enjoy that special time because this is the last one. Take note of that smile and enjoy his baby days because this is your last one!”
God does prepare our hearts for what we are about to face. Although the preparation may be fuzzy from our point of understanding, it is clear and thorough. When Bobby died, God reminded me of the things He had been speaking to me. Because of the conversations I had been having with the Lord, accepting the final stages to my child-birthing days was easier, although I wouldn’t say that it was easy. In fact, it seemed that each month I went through a time of grief over the ending of the baby season as much as grieving over the end to my marital season. I still heard God say, “Trust Me!” If you can trust Me to give you eight babies in ten years, then you can trust Me to show you how to raise those babies for their good and My glory.
God gave us a new perspective on May 17th – the anniversary of Bobby’s death. With every single pregnancy and time of expectancy of a new and precious gift, Bobby would pray over and speak to that baby in my tummy. He ended those tummy conversations with, “I can’t wait for you to come see me!” Perhaps now he continues to say that from his home in Heaven.
Yes, May 17th is an anniversary of a great loss, but also the celebration of a great gain! God told us to make May 17th our NEW Father’s Day! For my children, it is the beginning of a new season marking a whole new experience with God.
Just as a tiny baby or toddler does not really know their Daddy until they add years under the belt of their relationship, my children are learning to know their “Abba-Father!” As the children walk year after year with Abba-Daddy—God, a “father to the fatherless,” there will be countless ways that they will be able to say to him on May 17th, Happy Father’s Day!
http://shespeaksconference.com/
http://shespeaksconference.com/conference-information/#scholarship
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Excitedly, if the Lord wills, I anticipate being part of the She Speaks Conference where women are taught how to connect the hearts of other women to the heart of our Father God:http://shespeaksconference.com/
http://shespeaksconference.com/conference-information/#scholarship
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